"No one wants to hear about your sickness" Chronic illness and feeling heard.

Art therapy can make it visible

A few weeks ago I heard someone say these very words. "No one wants to hear about your sickness" as they tried to change the conversation from their symptoms to other less tricky, less personal subjects. It stopped me in my tracks.

As someone who lives with chronic health conditions the words "No one wants to hear about your sickness" sadly rang true. Over the years I too have picked up the clear message that most people don't want to hear about my sickness at least not in any depth. If you are anything like me you may have noticed friends, family or colleagues who:

• skip around the topic of your health

• act as if all is well

• Show only limited interest in how you are doing

• fill the space with themselves leaving little room for you

• try to out-do your symptoms with theirs

• Look at you with sympathy but silence

It seems that you cannot win. Which might be why many of us have times when we stop trying to compete for air time or recognition. We shrink our experiences down. We tell the short version.

And often, we tell nothing at all.

Why People Avoid Talking About Chronic Illness

We get it. For the most part friends, family and colleagues are doing the best they can with what they know. But the truth is:

• Many people do not know how to talk about illness.

• Certain conditions can seem too awkward or intimate to discuss.

• Some people aren't well equipped to handle the response and the reality of supporting you emotionally.

• Illness can bring up difficult emotions for them such as anger, fear or helplessness.

• It may be easier to treat you like nothing is wrong

• Some days you might feel/look better which makes it hard for people to really understand

Whether you live with fatigue, autoimmune conditions or chronic pain, your health conditions are real.

Symptoms may be invisible to those around us, but that doesn't mean they also have to remain silent.

On top of that the feelings that come with living with chronic health conditions are real too.

If you have ever said (or felt) the words "no one wants to hear about my chronic illness" just know that it isn't always true and...therapy can help.

A Space for the long story

In therapy you won't have to hide, brush aside, block out, push on or feel alone with chronic illness. I always want the long story. Of course I am trained to listen but life and illness have also trained me to understand and appreciate others pain and their strengths.

In art therapy we could use your art to let you expand rather than abbreviate. We could paint it big, bold, loud and clear. Tear the whole thing up and let it all out so you don't have to shrink it down or make it palatable.

There are so many creative ways to express complex feelings rather than holding them all in.

If this sounds like something you need right now I would love to hear from you.

until then,

stay creative because it really can help,

Ellen